when i’m dead and i’m a ghost i’ll be too scared to haunt places at night because what if there’s ghosts

(via bradfod)

i think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me

(Source: heathledgerarchives, via mikeycliffxrds)

- me: i'm going to bed early tonight.
- me:
- me: is that the sun

you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs

i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time

so, for relativistic boobtime, where t is the observer, and t’ is the time measured at the boob.

t=t’/sqrt(1-(v/c)^2)

solving for t=1, and t’=5, we get that the boobspeed, v, is represented by

v=+/- (6*10^8)sqrt(6)i m/sboobs travel at 1.5 gigametres per second in the complex direction.

what the fuck did you just do to my simple post

(via mikeycliffxrds)

my throat is kinda irritated let me google it and see what’s up

i have a brain tumor

(Source: tittled, via bradfod)

- me: wow she has a nice butt
- me: i wish i had her butt
- me: oh shit if someone could read my mind they would think i am a lesbian
- me: if anyone can hear this i like dicks
- me:
- everyone:
- me: phew

i am very nervous for 2013 because 2+0+1+3= 7 and do you know how many nipples hitler would have if he had 5 more???

thats right 7

(Source: terrakion, via mikeycliffxrds)